Unissasi olet laivan kannella

merituuli hyväilee otsaasi, repii ja riepoo

horisontissa jäävuoret kääntyilevät, paljastavat mustassa vedessä

vatsapuolensa

satoja vuosia salatun

Siellä jää on kirkkaansinistä

yökerhonsinistä

entisen elämäsi sinistä

Valkealla kannella halkaiset mustaa vettä

maanäkymästä on päiviä

huivi kaulallasi pistelee ja kiristää, kuten muistot

huonossa romaanissa

Et tuijota ulappaa kaivaten kotiin tai itseesi

olet tullut kääntyilevien jäävuorien maahan

näkemään harmaavalaan

tutkimusaluksen teräksiseltä kannelta

Matalalla satunnainen albatrossi

kuin tiirat Hakaniemen rannassa

katselet liitoa ja mietit, miten

hullu olit

miten jaksoitkin niin kauan

kädessä bonussekki ja diplomi

tuhannesta yövuorosta

Silmiesi edessä jäävuori kellahtaa kumoon

merivesi nuolee ahnaasti lumet ja tulee täydemmäksi

syvänsinisessä jäässä kaikki salaisuudet

raskasmetallit syöpyneet

ikivanhoihin huokosiin

Kiristät otetta kaulallasi

mustat aallot lipovat arkaa venettä

vierasta kääntyilevien vuorien maassa

Tuuli kurittaa otsaasi

ja sitten, yllättäen

hengitys

toinen

tuolta, paapuurin puolelta

Astut hätäisen askelen

kiirehtien

katsomaan valastasi

~ Maria Aarnio

Kuva: Kristoffer Brink Jonsson/Pexels

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